Don’t Give Up Now

This is your call to action, to continue.

Breaking The Fast

“It’s finally Holy Thursday! Lent is over!” someone said to me in a meeting. I paused, a bit confused, and asked what they meant. “I can finally have a beer and some chocolate again!” they said, beaming with excitement to break their fast. This was strange to me, I have only known people to fast until the Easter Vigil, or even until after Sunday mass if they are not attending the Vigil Mass. I didn’t ask deeper because I honestly did not know when Lent formally ended and if it was permissible to break your fast. After some research I was surprised at the results. I was surprised at the quickness to break fast, and the zeal to celebrate as Good Friday had not yet dawned. It just felt right to continue our fast through the Triduum.

I didn’t judge them or see them as “less.” But the moment stuck with me. It stirred a deeper question: Are there other fasts you’ve been struggling with lately? How have you been sanctified through these? While I wished I had asked this at the time, it has helped me reflect in prayer on the purpose of Lent. Why do we enter into these deserts? What is the long-term gain for us? Why do we die to ourselves for 40 days? How quickly should we break our fasts?

An Opportunity To Go Deeper

This year I did something new. I didn’t just give up my basic human vices. The simple things. The little chocolate flavored shot of serotonin. The warm cookies that comforted my cravings. But this year, I chose something different—something tied to a deeper weakness: breaking the silence. I love to talk, sometimes it is out of social anxiety, sometimes it is to make people laugh, but more often than not it is so that people would look at me. So that people would think I am great. People think I am full of wonder. The people love me. How selfish of my passions to want to fill up the heart with vanity. My passions over take my control of speech, my control of mind, and only bring chaos into my heart. The social anxiety. The constant speaking. It all stems from one deep desire: to be seen, to be known, and to be loved. How quickly I turn to myself, the world, Satan and all of his evil spirits before the one who loves me most.

The one whose love is unceasing. The one who has been tempted in every way like us, but never fell into Satan’s tricks. The one who took on sin. Our suffering servant. Who though he was in the form of God, took the form of Man, in order that he may die, even a death on a cross. To restore the knowledge of good and evil to the tree. The holy cross that his body was broken for us and given up for the story of salvation to be complete and offered for all. The sacrifice that is represented every celebration of the Mass. This lent I wanted to purify my flesh, and take on something that is very personally challenging for me. So I decided I would stop hijacking. Stop taking over conversations. Stop presenting my self first in meetings. Stop offering my opinion and insight on every detail. Stop seeking vainglory in all things relational. For all conversations that were not small talk, I paused for 5 seconds before responding. If the trajectory leaves me behind, so be it. I found inspiration in Jesus’ silence during discourse with Pilate;

“Then Pilate said to him, “Do you not hear how many things they testify against you?” But he gave him no answer, not even to a single charge, so that the governor was greatly amazed.”

A Peculiar Outcome

I did not expect what happened. More people sought out my opinion. People directed the conversation with intentionality to ask my thoughts. Men and women continued to respect me. Continued to encounter me. They poured into me—and received from me—in goodwill and trust. My conversations grew richer. But even that wasn’t the greatest yield. An even better fruit was my ability to love others increased. My observation of others was more insightful, more accurate and more honest. My inner monologue had a major decrease in volume, and so I was able to focus on the people in front of me. To encounter their hearts. To ask them deeply into their lives, the things they are passionate about, their purpose, their mission, to see them, to know them, and to love them. We are called to love all people. How great can we encounter others if we are first encountered in a perfect way, by a perfect God, for a perfect purpose.

The Story Doesn’t End Here

So when should someone break their fast? Sunday? Thursday? Next year? I don’t know the answer for you. I do know that fasting and feasting well is a great part of the life of the faithful. My fast will continue without an end date for now. I am not perfect on this front. I need to grow more like Christ. I am looking towards continued sanctification with hope and excitement. This fast was special in that it has been truly purifying. I am constantly reminded of the need. This fast has begun to border on a permanent commitment. A fast from vice to virtue, should leave you more virtuous than you began. Reflect on your fast. Reflect on the removal of your vice. Consider — what virtue has replaced it? Habitual sin must cease. We must fight sin without fail. We also must continue to fight vice in order that we may become more virtuous. Seek God above all else. Offer your fast to him. Fight for virtue. Before doing the Works of God, you must go to the God of Works, if your works will not be of God.